The Life of an Attention Whore

Friday, November 25, 2011

More on Why I Hate Giving Dating its Due Diligence

(Why I Hate Giving Dating its Due Diligence)

Fri, Sept 3, 2011
Long story short, ended up getting pissed off at a guy I kind of liked which sends every girl into a certain “mode”.  To quote, rapper extraordinaire, Wale, “Women’ll sell they soul, just to buy some attention.”  Yes, I admitted it, women are attention whores.  That often mocked reverse psychology of insulting a girl to make her feel insecure so she’s more likely to sleep with you - totally works.  So once again I succumbed to my friends’ suggestions of actually going on dates.  

2 days later
Went to my cousin’s friends birthday party, where there were a lot of people I didn’t know.  Met a guy who wasn’t bad looking (AKA that cusp where a good personality would make you on the low end of do-ability or a shitty personality would make you completely forgettable) that came late to the party because he was coming from a “crappy date.”  Already several pitchers deep, I gave him my bbm, and ignored the warning sign of a guy coming from a date immediately trying to pick up another girl. 

3 days later
After a few days of bbm-ing back and forth, we agreed to meet up on a Wednesday night and go to dinner.  He said he had family that lived in Astoria, so I agreed to have him pick me up from work and we would go to dinner in the area.   When I asked where we were going he said he had no idea and asked if I could pick the place.  I refused, because, here’s another psychology of women trick - we want men.  No matter how strong our personalities, we still want a guy that’s capable of proverbially beating us with a club and taking control of the situation.  We want to be taken out and treated like the damsel in distress.  Here’s me waving my white handkerchief, come save me you gallant studs.  

Back to the story.  It was a dark and rainy indian summer night when he came to pick me up and like a gentleman he got out of the car with an umbrella to escort me to the car.  Props.  

When we got to his car he asked if I liked sushi, (definitely) so we settled on a sushi restaurant in the area.  The place was cute enough, an Americanized, nicely decorated sushi place with a typical menu.  We sat down, and the waitress came by to take our drink orders.  He ordered a water and handed her back the drink menu.  Unfamiliar with the etiquette of dating, I figured I had to follow suit, and ordered a water as well.  Side note, did I mention we met at a beer garden when I was intoxicated?  And that I’m probably a functional alcoholic?  And that alcohol = loosening up your date (see previous nightmare date story)

One of the things I pride myself on as an occupational hazard of being a bartender is my ability to talk to anyone or anything.  I can find something interesting to talk about with almost any person.  Or a plant.  Or a wall.  Seeing as this was a date, I decided to cover 2/3 of MY favorite topics: food and travel, as he had already taken talking about booze off the table.  Literally.

Me: So, I’m kind of a foodie.
Him: Me too.  I’m not just a bar food and meat and potatoes kind of guy.
Me:  Really?  Cool, so what kind of stuff do you like? What should I order for dinner here, what’s good?
Him:  Spicy tuna is my favorite.  The spicy tuna rolls here are really good. They have some specialty rolls too.

Okay.  I’ll admit I’m kind of a food snob, but by no means, even my friends who aren’t that into sushi, would anyone I know think that spicy tuna would be considered the pinnacle of sushi.  Give me some uni and ikura - that’s on almost every menu.  Even some eel would’ve been a little more credible.  Spicy tuna is what I feed the Persian kids in Great Neck, overloaded with extra spicy mayo, tons of soy sauce and “crunch.”  I guess food is now also off the list of things we’ll be discussing over dinner.  And to be fair, had he not qualified himself as a “foodie”,” him declaring a love for spicy tuna would not have been an issue.  And letting him take control, I ordered the specialty roll at his suggestion - spicy tuna wrapped in avocado.  

Me: I love traveling, like, I try to travel as often as possible.
Him:  Me too!  I love to travel.  
Me: Nice!  Where have you been?

(Ok, I know this is a loaded question because I know I’m fortunate to have flight privileges, and I don’t expect that everyone has had my fortune of being able to travel outside of the country - let’s see where this is going…)

Him: I’ve been to Philadelphia, New Jersey - sorry I mean Atlantic City and Vegas.
Me: (working hard not to choke on my delicious water) ohhh umm nice…I just went to Vegas in June.  Where did you stay in Vegas?
Him: Off the strip.

What the fuck?  Is there anything off the strip?  Was he staying in the brothel district?  You can find a shitty hotel on the strip for less than $100 and I’m assuming you have friends you can split the room with… And Jersey is traveling? Fuck, I guess a lot of my friends travel on a daily basis from Hoboken to work.  Jetsetter status!

Me: Oh… ummm…(come on Risa you can do this…pull the bartender social skills out you can get through this!) umm…. Do you like sports?
Him: No, not really.


At this point I decided to get obnoxious in the best way I knew how in hopes he wouldn’t ask me out again.  I decided to get all hipster on his ass.  

Him: I like sushi
Me: I liked sushi before it was cool, since I was a kid.  And nothing compares to the sushi I had in Japan

Him:  I take boxing lessons.  
Me:  A few of my friends do MMA and went to Thailand to study and compete in tournaments there.  

Him:   I’m trying to get in shape for a tournament
Me: I ran the NYC marathon. 

About an hour and a half after he picked me up, he dropped me back off at work where I ran into a few of my friends and decided to stay for a drink or 2 while telling them about my fabulous new boyfriend.  An hour after he dropped me off he bbm’d me and asked me if I was free to hang out again soon.  I had another 4 drinks and went to a strip club to wipe away any memory of this date ever happening.  

If I was lucky the story would’ve ended there. 

The next day he messages me first thing in the morning, and continuing on my streak of being an obnoxious one-upper (and probably still drunk) he asked how the rest of my night was and I said, I went to a strip club with one of my guy friends (I forgot to mention we drove past the club on the way to dinner and he asked what the place was, I told him it was a strip club and he said he had never been to one before).  Honestly, I’m not good at rejecting people or saying no, so I hoped that through a combination of being obnoxious and consistently busy for the next rest of my life he’d eventually disappear.

Over the next month he continued to bbm me despite my decision to evolve from lengthy obnoxious responses, to curt one word answers several hours after he sent a message. 

A few choice exchanges 
Him:  When are you gonna invite me over and cook me dinner?
Me:   I don’t know how to cook

Him: Are you busy at working making that dough?  I need a sugar mama.

Him: I’m down the block from your job.  Are you there?  Can I come visit?
Me: No.  I’m busy.

Him: I could use a massage
(no response)
Him: You know I would spend time to get to bed.

A few days after those wonderfully seductive words I left for Germany and the Netherlands.  I only had service in free Wi-Fi zones which was for about an hour once a day and I get this message (verbatim) after not responding to his messages.  

Why you icin me out, you know I was feeling you, let’s at least give it another go.  Lets give it its due diligence.”

Due diligence….really?  Oh thank god.  Now I know we both know going on a date with you is a chore and an obligation.  
There were more curt exchanges after that once I got back to the country, involving one word answers from me concluded by this

Him: (c. 2am) Are you at work?
Me: (c. 11 am) No
And then he sent me a message that I refused to open so he could see I read it (ahhh the wonders of bbm).  The message started “Good just in time…” and then 15 minutes the messaged disappeared as did he from my list of bbm friends.  I assumed he got the point and deleted me and figured me for a bitch.

The End.

Or not.

A few days before Thanksgiving I was debating writing a little story up about him for being another one of the weirdos that bit the dust, but generally he was an okay, kind of nice guy, that really didn’t deserve public abuse despite him being a bit weird or occasionally saying weird things, and being clueless about social interactions.  Then I get this yesterday on Thanksgiving (via text message)

(Name) Due Diligence: Happy turkey day
Me: You too
(Name) Due Diligence:  What are you up to?
Me:  Same thing as everyone else.  Getting ready for thanksgiving.  You?
(Name) Due Diligence:  At my sisters
(Name) Due Diligence:  I want to cum inside your throat.
Me: I’d have a better time blowing a cactus than going anywhere near you.

Due diligence” is a term used for a number of concepts involving either an investigation of a business or person prior to signing a contract, or an act with a certain standard of care. It can be a legal obligation, but the term will more commonly apply to voluntary investigations. A common example of due diligence in various industries is the process through which a potential acquirer evaluates a target company or its assets for acquisition.[1]

The DUE DILIGENCE of Mr. Spicy tuna AKA Mr. Due Diligence
1 date
Less than 2 hours spent together in person
0 kisses
0 hugs
0 handshakes
0 physical interactions 
~200 texts/bbms
1 massage request
1 sexual favor command
0 intriguing factors 



At 12:38 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh my gosh, that is a crazy story and I feel your pain. I have started taking a cocktail with me to help me through those super awkward moments. I found pocket shots, which are awesome because they are super compact and do not bulk up your bag. They have helped me in a pinch I hope they can help you too. :)

At 12:55 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I put a search in Google to see what msogynistic delights I could read from 'I hate giving women attention', and your Blog made an appearance:

"The Life of an Attention Whore: More on Why I Hate Giving Dating its..."

I thought to myself, HAH, a self-proclaimed attention whore! This should be good. Let's click and rage at the needy bitch.

I thought it was quite funny.

True story.

At 4:25 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

[url=][b]cheap ugg boots[/b][/url] NRZLHI
[url=][b]ugg boots on sale[/b][/url] PXFMAB
[url=][b]ugg boots cheap[/b][/url] HAIOZX
[url=][b]ugg boots outlet[/b][/url] ZARTPX
[url=][b]ugg sale[/b][/url] ZPAMVG

At 7:21 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

online payday loans direct lenders jeOkeri [url=]Instant Online Payday Loans[/url] Clusy Payday Loans Online Payday Loan You don't have to reach a payment cap to be paid out, those who to solve complex website creation problems.

At 1:18 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have learn some excellent stuff here. Definitely price bookmarking for revisiting.
I wonder how a lot attempt you place to make this kind of wonderful informative website.

Feel free to visit my web page: cheap youtube Subscribers

At 1:29 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

hellο therе and thank you fоr
your infо – I've certainly picked up anything new from right here. I did however expertise a few technical points using this web site, as I experienced to reload the web site many times previous to I could get it to load properly. I had been wondering if your web hosting is OK? Not that I'm cоmplaining, but slow loading
іnstаnces times will veгy fгequently аffect yοur placement in gооglе and can dаmage your
high-qualіty scorе if аds аnd marketіng wіth Adwords.
Anyway I'm adding this RSS to my e-mail and could look out for a lot more of your respective exciting content. Ensure that you update this again very soon.

my blog diet plans
my site :: diet plans

At 6:01 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

buy ativan ativan prescribing information - addiction 1 mg ativan

At 1:20 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I blog frequently and I seriously thank you for your content.

This great article has really peaked my interest. I will book mark your site and keep
checking for new details about once a week.
I subscribed to your RSS feed too.

Here is my blog ... linked here

At 3:24 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

my blog :: web page

At 11:24 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

This paragгaph is in fact a nice one it helps new the
ωeb visіtors, who are wishіng in favor of blоgging.

Feеl free tο visit my blog payday loans

At 8:34 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

my blog site

At 5:48 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Feel free to surf to my blog post: website

At 7:31 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

[url=]norvasc online[/url]

At 4:55 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thanks very interesting blog!

Feel free to visit my web page; dining table set

At 7:50 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thanks a lot for sharing this with all folks you actually understand what you
are talking approximately! Bookmarked. Kindly additionally consult with my website =).
We could have a hyperlink change agreement among us

Check out my web site; link

At 3:18 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said... 18465 542029buy louis vuitton bags cheap authentic louis vuitton purses on ebay authentic hermes belt for sale hermes leather bracelets for women

At 4:05 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

And unlike Kickstarter, Detroit Big F Deal's community-building plan. And it's not just people who run attorney search
engine optimizationes that can make a step toward these changes in November.

With the latest update, version 5. Simply find a charity that fits your specific profile.

For Connecticut, the average daily population of detained immigrants stood at 6, 294.

Mackenzie Eaglen, resident fellow at the Marilyn Ware Center for Security Studies, said the
government had already created numerous exceptions for religious employers, exempting over
190 million health plan participants.

Have a look at my blog; attorney seo marketing

At 9:02 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Currently, more individuals are preferred to
use herbal products to resolve all their health problems and to have a good life.
It is also thought that some forms of herbal tea, green tea among
them, have the power to prevent cancer. Regular inclusion of Brain O Brain capsules
in diet schedule calms down nerve cells and relieves stress problems

Look into my website: obat herbal kesuburan pria wanita

At 11:02 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's difficult to find knowledgeable people on this topic, however, you sound like you know what you're talking about!

my website no carb diet

At 3:20 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Attractive section of content. I just stumbled upon your weblog and
in accession capital to assert that I get actually enjoyed account your blog posts.
Anyway I will be subscribing to your feeds and even I achievement you access
consistently quickly.

Here is my web blog ... how to raise testosterone levels

At 3:57 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

The full-personality graphics translate very
well for packaging, website design, logos and. Minor and medium sized corporations also have a lot to obtain by shelling
out in a very good website. However, there are certain features then one has to adhere in order to effectively come up with a perfect brand mark.

Visit my blog post; graphic designer


Post a Comment

<< Home